Where The Dark Is
by Half Cactus
Summary: (CURRENTLY ON HIATUS/BEING REWORKED)It's been five years since she's laid eyes on Ben Solo. Five years since he betrayed her and left her behind. But when a Resistance Mission she's on is intervened by the First Order, Amara finds herself in the grips of Kylo Ren who's not so willing to let her escape him a second time. T for now... Might change as the story develops. We'll see ;)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

* * *

Amara tapped her foot anxiously as she leaned against her X-Wing. It had been thirty minutes. Surely thirty minutes was enough time for Poe to find the map and come back, right?

Apparently not.

Amara would have left her post to go check on him but he told her not to leave unless it was an emergency. What warrants an emergency? What if he was in an emergency and she had no idea?

Amara kicked the sand at her feet. She was the one who volunteered to come on this mission in the first place. General Leia Organa had insisted that Poe not go on this mission alone and Amara, whose muscle were aching for adventure after being holed up in the Rebel Command Center for days on end, had volunteered to escort him to Jakku. It had taken some convincing on her part for Leia to let her go but even more for Poe to agree to the arrangement.

"Absolutely not," he had said. "I'm not going to let you risk your life just to make sure I land safely!"

"Poe," Amara said rolling her eyes. "If the First Order shows up then you're going to need backup."

"Then I'll call in backup."

"No, I'll call in backup. The only thing you need to worry about is getting the map."

"General Organa," Poe turned to the former princess. "You can't honestly be considering this."

The General thought for a minute.

"Well, I certainly don't enjoy the idea of losing two of our best soldiers in one go… but Amara makes a good argument."

"Ha!" Amara barked at Poe, jabbing a finger into his chest mockingly.

"With all due respect, General," Poe started, ignoring Amara entirely, "I don't need a babysitter. I can handle this trip by myself."

Leia only smiled at him.

But once the two pilots had arrived on Jakku, Poe had been the one babysitting Amara. He had instructed her that she was not to leave the X-Wings unless she was dying, in danger of dying, or dead. When she pointed out that leaving her post would be virtually impossible in the event of her death, he simply walked off. Thus, the mission had commenced and she had been left behind to do nothing. For nearly a half an hour.

She was debating her loyalty to the agreement and had only just pushed off from the side of her aircraft to go find him when a loud whirring noise descended upon the village. She didn't have to look at the black ship to know who had arrived.

A shot of adrenalin zapped through her body and she hurriedly she jumped into her ship.

"We have a situation," she said into the old radio. "The First Order is here and we need backup immedia-"

Shards of glass shattered against Amara's neck and the ship rocked with the force of an explosion.

"Shit!" She yelled, noting the burst window behind her and the trickles of blood trailing down her neck. "I can't fly this piece of junk!"

Amara turned in her seat to see that Stormtroopers were dealing out significant amounts of damage to her and Poe's X-Wings. Realizing that if they were going to have any chance of getting off this godforsaken desert planet then she'd have to start fighting back, she leapt from her ship and unholstered her blaster. She had barely taken out one Stormtrooper when another blew out the engine to Poe's X-Wing.

"Dammit!" She huddled behind her own smoking aircraft to catch her breath.

I guess we'll just have to hold out hope that the rebels are on their way to rescue us...

Us... Poe!

Where was Poe? He never came back, even before the Stormtroopers arrived! Shooting down the last of the Stormtroopers headed her way, Amara picked herself up from the sand with the intention of finding Poe, but she didn't have to look far. Sprinting in her direction was Poe and BB-8, his small spherical droid companion.

"Poe! Where have you been?" Amara scolded, skidding to his side. He quickly grabbed her hand and swept her away in the direction of their vehicles.

"No time to talk!" He said, clearly out of breath. "I've got the map but we've got to get out of here! Now!"

Amara pulled back on his hand to slow him down. "The X-Wings are busted! I called in reinforcements but I don't know if they received the transmission or not."

"You've got to be kidding me," Poe sighed, looking around desperately. A blaster shot zoomed past their heads and they ducked swiftly.

"What do we do?" Amara asked.

After a moment of thought, Poe perked up. "BB-8," he said before turning to the droid. "BB, you need to take this map and get as far away from here as possible, got it?"

The droid beeped in protest as Poe inserted a small disk into one of its slots.

"Look, I know it's not ideal but it's the only option we have right now." Another shot skimmed above them and the heavy steps of Stormtroopers drew nearer. "Please, BB. I'll come back for you, I promise." The droid hesitated only for a moment and then rolled off into the desert at an impressive speed.

"Come on," Amara said once the droid was out of sight. "Let's get out of here."

The two of them sprinted along the outskirts of the village and were careful to keep to the shadows. The troopers had lit nearly every building on fire and some were still wielding flamethrowers. It seemed that the members of the First Order were rallying the villagers in the center of the little town. Those who had tried to escape could be seen dead at the edge of the village.

An impressive silence swept over the area as the ramp to one of the large aircrafts slid out onto the sand. At first Amara and Poe had continued to inch around the village upon seeing that the ship was only spilling out with more Stormtroopers but after a second glance Amara dug her heels in deep.

It was him.

His towering frame was dressed in all black with a hood covering half of his dark looming figure and quick strides were rather intimidating, but his helmet was definitely one of his most menacing qualities. The metallic mask gave him the look of a machine and the black holes where his eyes were buried seemed to command death and destruction.

It was Kylo Ren.

Master of the Knights of Ren and Co-commander of the First Order.

Someone who didn't know him personally wouldn't realize it at first, but Amara knew that beneath that mask was a man she once knew as Ben Solo.

Poe had stopped to look as well but was quicker to snap out of his reverie than Amara was.

"Amara," he whispered anxiously. "Amara, we've got to go."

She nodded slightly but couldn't seem to unglue her eyes from the black clad man who had once held a special place in her heart. Maybe still did.

"Where is Lor San Tekka?" Kylo Ren asked, his deep voice gravelly beneath his mask.

Two Stormtroopers pulled an elderly man from the crowd and threw him down at their commander's feet. Kylo Ren crouched to meet him at eye level.

"Where is the map?" He demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The man said, though he sounded less than convincing.

"Don't lie to me," Kylo growled, his gloved hand reaching up in front of the man's face. As his fingers twitched the man cried out in pain.

"You'll... never... find it," Tekka said between gasps.

Kylo's fingers twisted again, though this time only a twinge of discomfort graced Tekka's face.

"Amara," Poe tugged on his friend's arm again in attempt to pry her from the scene but she was enthralled. She couldn't bring herself to look away, even though every atom in her body screamed for her to leave with Poe.

She watched as Kylo Ren illuminated his lightsaber, lifting it high above his head before swinging it down sharply on the old man. No sooner had Poe leapt forward and fired his blaster in Kylo's direction. But Kylo was quicker than expected and had snapped up to catch the blaster fire in mid-air with an incredible show of the control he had over the Force.

Amara clamped a hand tightly over her mouth as she watched her friend struggle against invisible restraints. Kylo was holding him there with surprising ease while Poe could only blink and twitch under the force-hold. It was a tense moment. No one moved. No one blinked or breathed. The blue blast Poe had fired still hung in the air like a jagged light between Kylo and Poe, illuminating the sand around them and nearly revealing Amara's horror stricken face.

Stormtroopers quickly jumped up to grab Poe and shoved him to his knees next to where Lor San Tekka now laid dead. Amara's blood pumped through her veins in double time and the loud pounding of her heart blocked out what Poe and Kylo were saying, but could tell from the Dark Jedi's body language that Poe wasn't cooperating.

Amara was paralyzed in fear.

She didn't want to believe that Kylo Ren, Ben, would murder Poe like he had so ruthlessly slaughtered Lor San Tekka. But as she watched him knock the pilot unconscious something broke inside of her and she let out a primal scream.

A hundred heads turned to her in surprise. She had jumped up from her crouching position and had gone into full on battle mode, shooting down at least five Stormtroopers as they ran in her direction. Her vengeance was short lived, however, because Kylo Ren had locked her in place with his force vice-grip. She whimpered and struggled as hard as she could to release her frozen muscles but to no avail. She was trapped.

Kylo Ren stalked towards her slowly, like a predator waiting for the right time to strike. Amara wanted to scream as he drew closer. Wanted to yell profane things his direction and kick him in the stomach. But she couldn't, and tears of frustration pricked her eyes as he stopped only a foot away from her.

If there was any sign of recognition crossing his face, Amara couldn't see it behind his mask.

Maybe he doesn't remember me…

But that was unlikely. It may have been nearly five years since their last encounter but she had been the most consistent person in his life when they were growing up. Surely the Dark Side hadn't completely wiped his memory.

She didn't have time to think on it further as Kylo swept his gloved hand swiftly over her face and she was tumbled into darkness.

* * *

 **A/N: Helloooooo! Thanks for reading! Please leave a review if you feel like this story should continue. I have plenty of plans for Kylo and Mara up ahead but it doesn't hurt to get some motivation from you guys so, comment away! Constructive criticism is preferred over ruthless bashing of my work :)**

 **Thanks again! xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey everybody! Quick announcement here! First off, thanks to all of you crazy cool kids who reviewed/followed/favorited! It really pumped me up! I was able to crank this chapter out today and wanted to try and get it out by tonight so as not to keep you waiting.**

 **NEXT, I'd like to announce that Mara's name is no longer 'Mara'. Those of you who read the original first chapter will notice that I have changed her name to 'Amara'. This is mainly to avoid confusion between her character and the other (already written) character of Mara Jade (she's in the Star Wars books, yes?). Just wanted to clear that up. Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Amara was less than enthusiastic to wake up. Her limbs felt like they weighed a thousand pounds and her head felt light and fuzzy. When she finally did open her eyes she had to squint against the harsh light of the room. Not to mention that whatever she was laying on was acutely uncomfortable and when she tried to readjust her position she found that her wrists and ankles had been restrained.

This discovery woke her up.

Her eyes flashed open as she pulled weakly at the metal cuffs that held her to the…

 _What is this thing?_

It was as if someone had taken a metal table and placed it on end so that she was practically standing up against it. The only thing that made it even remotely comfortable was the fact that it was tilted at about a 70 degree angle. She continued to shake against the restraints but it was useless. Sweat was beginning to tickle her neck and her breathing became erratic.

 _How am I going to get out of this mess?_

It wasn't until she leaned back in defeat that she sensed another presence in the room. The sight of a black figure slowly stepping around her made her jump in her seat, doing nothing to help calm her nerves.

"What am I doing here?" Her voice was hoarse from screaming the night before.

Kylo Ren stepped in front of her, adorned in his usual dark attire and metallic helmet. His hands were tucked behind his back. Amara felt incredibly vulnerable being tied down below his towering form but she knew he wouldn't hurt her… Not after everything they went through...

 _He wouldn't._

"I don't suppose you remember me?" She tried when he didn't respond, daring to look directly into the dark pits of his eyes. His silence was unnerving.

"What did you do to Poe?" She asked.

"He's determined to be difficult," Kylo said finally, taking a step closer to her shaking form. "Though I should have expected to see you with him on Jakku. The two of you were always close." Amara resisted the urge to roll her eyes, though the huff she released gave off the same effect.

"He's my friend. He's always been my friend, especially after you… left." She sighed. "Ben," she started softly, "Take off the mask."

For a while he made no move to heed her demand until eventually he too sighed, removing his hood and clicking a button on the side of his helmet. She almost broke out into a grin at the sight of his true face but only just managed to repress it. He looked just as she remembered, though the dark bags under his eyes seemed to be a new development. Amara had unconsciously leant towards him like a magnet clinging to the only familiar thing in this place but cleared her throat when she realized the inappropriateness of her reaction.

"It's good to see you," she said quietly. "You look the same."

"You look… different," he said.

Amara said nothing. She couldn't think of anything to say. She tried to think back to all of the speeches she had prepared for when she saw him again but none came to mind. It was like they had been washed away in her sleep.

"Hey," she started angrily. "What did you do to me?"

"What?" He said, clearly confused at her sudden change in attitude.

"How did you knock me out earlier?"

He smiled and looked down at his feet.

"The Force is a very powerful thing." His gaze suddenly turned serious as he looked deep into her eyes. She felt a presence in her mind, almost as if someone was tickling the inner parts of her brain.

"W-what are you doing?" she asked shakily.

"You're scared," he hummed.

"No I'm not," she ground out. His presence in her head was growing uncomfortable.

"I can read you like an open book, Mars." Amara blinked at the nickname. It had been years since she'd heard him call her that. It felt so informal for her current predicament. She was, after all, strapped to a metal bed while he rummaged through her thoughts uninvited. He seemed to realize his slip up as well because his eyes softened and the dull ache in her head seeped away.

"Come home," she blurted. She hadn't meant to say it so bluntly but it spilled out of her like a hole in a pipe. "Ben, come home with me. You're not meant to be here and you know it. You can use your power for good, not… all of this," she nodded at the metal walls around them. "Please, just… come home."

Amara thought she had seen a flicker of emotion pass over his features but when she blinked it was gone. He was as stoic as ever.

"You don't seem to understand that what I'm doing _is_ for the greater good." He took a menacing step forward so that she could feel his warm breath on her neck. It made her shiver. "I am making a difference. It's the Resistance that's tearing apart the order in the galaxy. I have the power to stop them."

"What about your parents, Ben? They're fighting for _you_. They want you back. That's all we want!"

"Stop," he said lowly but she couldn't slow down her thoughts now that they were pouring out of her.

"We want _Ben_ back! Not this _Kylo Ren_ facade. Please, Ben come back to us-"

Her pleas came to an abrupt halt as an invisible hand put pressure on her windpipe, leaving her to croak in surprise and terror. Her eyes grew wide and she turned to look at her assailant who had since turned and began pacing in front of her. One of his hands was clenched tight while he bit the knuckles of the other in distress.

"I said... _stop_ ," He growled darkly before releasing the grip he had on her neck. She gasped for air desperately and coughed at the sensation of air filling her lungs. When she had finally regained her composure she knew better than to speak. Instead she watched with wide, frightened eyes as he mumbled to himself. Quickly, he reached for his helmet and slipped it on. When he turned back to her she sank back in her seat, petrified of what else he might do to her.

"Sleep," he said, and with a wave of his hand she had slumped down in her restraints.

* * *

Kylo Ren stalked out of Amara's interrogation chambers.

"Put her in a holding cell," he told the two Stormtroopers standing guard.

He was on edge. Amara had started to widdle her way past his defenses and now he felt the light piercing through the dark. He had to fix this before the the conflict within him grew larger. Hurriedly, he made his way through the corridors until he reached his chambers. There was a door inside that led to a smaller room. A secret room. Few knew of its existence.

Only a pedestal resided inside and Kylo crouched before it, addressing the deformed mask resting on its surface.

"Forgive me, Grandfather," he said. "I have felt the pull to the light. My weakness has returned. Remind me of the strength I possess and I will prove myself to you. No matter what, I will finish what you started."

The melted Darth Vader mask glimmered back at him, and that was all Kylo needed to feel the power pulse in his veins once more.

* * *

 **A/N: Talk to me guys!**

 **You can recommend things that you might like to see written or ask questions about what's going on. Right now I'm pretty much trying to get through the exposition so that we can get into the deeper stuff involving Kylo and Amara. Next chapter should be pretty exciting though!**

 **P.S: Sorry if this chapter seemed a bit rushed... I was just too excited not to post an update!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

 _Nearly a year had passed since Ben left to train as a Jedi with his uncle and the other Padawans. He'd already been training for a few years and had only taken two breaks to visit home since he'd started his training. It was nearly summer now and Amara was growing weary of having to wait to see him again. There weren't many people she liked to spend her time with besides Ben, but luckily Poe was there to keep her company._

 _It was a sunny day and the two were by the river, as they often were, talking and watching the water flow._

 _"I'm almost done with my flight training," Poe told her as he skipped a particularly large stone with ease. "That means I'll be a pilot for the Resistance pretty soon."_

 _"That's incredible, Poe!" Amara smiled. "Wow, a pilot..."_

 _"Yeah, it's pretty crazy." He laughed. "I'll finally get my chance to take down the First Order, one Tie fighter at a time."_

 _The pair of them stood there at the water's edge and looked out over the glimmering surface. It was so quiet here, with nothing but the sound of flowing water and chirping birds to fill the silence._

 _"I wish I was doing something," Amara huffed before taking a rock from her pocket and flicking it sharply across the water._

 _"What are you talking about? Of course you're doing something!" Poe said enthusiastically. Amara shot him an incredulous look._

 _"Am I, though? All I've been doing for the past two years is-"_

 _"Is looking after your_ mother _, Amara," he finished for her. "You're doing an incredible thing. She wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."_

 _"She's not getting better, Poe," she said quietly. "I've tried everything but not even the healers know what's wrong with her."_

 _"She'll be fine. You're all she needs."_

 _"I'm not so sure anymore," Amara sighed before chucking the last of the rocks from her pocket carelessly into the depths of the water._

 _"Come here." Poe pulled her in for a hug and tucked her head into his neck so that his skin absorbed her tears. They stayed like this for a while, just rocking each other into a state of calm. Amara was grateful to have a friend like Poe. He was sensitive and kind. He always knew the right things to say and always knew when she needed to hear them most. She allowed herself to drift in his warm embrace and soak in his energy. The Force was never out of balance when she was with him._

 _When she finally felt that she was ready to stand on her own again she propped her head on his shoulder and opened her eyes into the sunlight._

 _At first she wasn't sure if it was just a mirage but after squinting off into the distance for a long moment she ripped away from Poe, a smile threatening to rip her face in half._

 _"Ben!" She cried as she ran to the man standing only twenty feet from her. She leapt into his arms, seeming to catch him off guard, and squeezed him tight. It took him a minute before he finally wrapped his arms around her waist in return._

 _"I didn't know you were coming back!" She said excitedly. "I mean you didn't tell me! You didn't send me a hologram or a note or even a stupid carrier-pigeon for God's-sake!" She adjusted her arms around his neck and gave him another bone cracking squeeze before finally stepping back to look up at him._

 _"You're taller! Poe, don't you think he's taller?" Amara shouted over her shoulder._

 _"Yeah, he's… pretty tall," Poe said, though his voice lacked the enthusiasm hers held as he stepped closer to the pair. "Good to see you again, Ben."_

 _Ben only nodded once in his direction._

 _Amara waited for the tension to pass but it lingered in the air like a thick, horrid smell._

 _"Well, I guess I'll leave you two to catch up," Poe interjected awkwardly._

 _"Yeah, thanks for talking to me Poe," she said, feeling a bit awkward as the two boys stared at each other with equal ferocity. "I'll catch up with you, okay?"_

 _"Sure, Mara," he said before walking past them swiftly and disappearing down the road._

 _Amara turned back to Ben, her smile returning in an instant._

 _"You're here! I can't believe you're actually here!" He stared at her with the same cold eyes he'd shared with Poe._

 _"So is that over?" He asked stiffly._

 _"Is what over?" She asked, taken aback by his tone._

 _"Whatever it was that I just walked in on." The look in his eyes was so serious and she could feel his anger bleed into her through his touch._

 _"What?_ Poe? _Poe's my friend, Ben" she said with a small laugh. "He's been helping me through a lot of stuff, you know, with my mom being sick and all."_

 _"Right," he said, the brown of his eyes sparkling in the afternoon sun._

 _"What's that look for?"_

 _"It's just good to see you again, Mars."_

 _Amara's lips quirked at the nickname._

 _"You've been missed, Solo," she said and pulled him into another long hug._

* * *

When Amara woke up every muscle in her body screamed in protest. Thankfully she was no longer strapped to the metal gurney, although the bed she was laying on was hardly any more comfortable. She groaned as her bones rubbed together roughly and frowned at the dry plains in her mouth. She hadn't been this uncomfortable since she had to stay at a Wookie camp on Kashyyyk.

It had been Chewbacca's birthday and anyone who knew her knew she couldn't turn down a party invitation. Chewie took advantage of this knowledge and swept her and a few others off to see his relatives. Safe to say it was an interesting weekend.

Amara sat up on the bed, bones creaking and all when she caught sight of someone sitting in a chair across the room.

"Shit!" She gasped as she held her pounding heart. "You've got to stop showing up like that!"

Kylo smirked.

"But it's just so much fun to see you jump," he said.

"Well next time, announce yourself!"

He held up his hands in mock surrender.

"As the lady wishes."

She stared at him with heated eyes.

"What do you want, Kylo?"

"I want to make you a proposition."

"A what?"

"A proposition. You know, like an agreeme-"

"I _know_ what a proposition is, thank you," she growled.

"My mistake. I suppose that confused look is just how your face is."

Amara gaped.

"Look, _Buddy_ , if you think you can hold me in here against my wishes thinking that no one is going to come looking for me then you've got another thing coming!"

She was bluffing so hard that even she was starting to believe her words. She could only really hope that someone was coming to rescue her and Poe but she knew they weren't valuable enough for the Resistance to send out a suicide squad to retrieve them.

"That's what I've come here to discuss," Kylo said calmly. "Suppose I weren't holding you here _'against your wishes'_."

"What are you talking about? How is that possible?" He tilted his head and watched as his words turned over in her head. "Oh my God…" She said. "You expect me to stay here _voluntarily?_ Have you completely lost your mind?" She screamed, jumping up from the bed in outrage.

"Perhaps," he mused. "But you could be happy here. I could train you. Make you my second in command."

"I don't believe what I'm hearing…"

"Come on, Mars. It's what you've always wanted!" He stood up as well and met her across the room. "Your whole life you've been waiting for purpose and now here it is! I'm giving you the opportunity to feel _power_. You can make a new life for yourself!"

"I don't _want_ a new life! I don't want…. _This!_ "

Kylo stepped forward and grabbed her hand.

"Don't touch me," she said and tried to pull her hand out of his but he held fast and pressed it to his chest. She swallowed deeply. "What are you doing?"

"Do you feel that?" He said, still holding her hand over his heart. "Do you feel the power of the Force running through me?"

"Let go of me," Amara whispered. He was so close to her now that she didn't feel the need to yell. She couldn't now that they were only inches apart. It felt wrong to even make a sound.

"Close your eyes," he said but she hesitated. " _Close your eyes_ and feel the power of the Force running through my veins."

She took a deep breath and did as he said, reaching for the energy he was so positive was there. At first she felt nothing but the beating of his heart against the pads of her fingers but slowly… slowly she began to recognize the pulse of energy spreading up her arm and infecting her body like wildfire.

It was a strong sensation. One that tickled her spine and sent shivers across her skin. She felt need. She felt obsession. She felt _power_ spiking through her system like a jolt of electricity. She felt like she could do anything.

And so she kissed him.

Amara leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed Kylo Ren.

She raked her fingers through his soft black hair and pulled him in as close as she cold. Kylo remained unresponsive for the first few seconds before jumping into action himself, pulling her hips into his and returning the kiss fervently.

It wasn't until he broke away to trail kisses down her jawline that Amara broke out of her trance. With both hands she shoved him back and he stumbled, his lips swollen and eyes heavy.

She couldn't think of anything to say. She had been intoxicated by the power running through his body and it had overrun her logic. It enhanced her senses and melted her mind. That wasn't meant to happen.

"What the hell was that?" She said, her voice rising in fear and anger. She looked down at her trembling hands. "What happened…. What was… What did you do?" She yelled.

"That was you," he started, taking a step closer to her as she backed away. "You felt my power. You felt what the Force is capable of."

"I didn't mean to do that," she said weakly, still backing away from his approaching figure.

"Join me, Mars. Join me and together we can make the galaxy a better place."

"You're crazy," she said as he backed her into a wall.

"How can you deny what's right in front of you? How can you let your potential go to waste? I can teach you the ways of the Force, Mars, and you and I can be the most powerful people in the universe! Say yes and join me!"

"Ben, I can't do that!"

"It's easy, Mars," he said quietly as he moved only inches away from her quivering body. "Just say yes, and I can give you everything."

She looked up into his eyes. They weren't black like Kylo's, but brown like Ben's. He wasn't masked and mysterious but plain and sincere. The palms of his hands were warm and soft and not hidden beneath cold leather gloves. He looked like the Ben she remembered, but he sounded like someone new.

She pulled away from him and edged along the wall.

"I can't join you, Ben. I can't fight for something I don't believe in."

"What, would you rather be back on Poana with Poe starting a happy family full of children and housework? Do you _truly_ want the lives of our parents? To grow old and die without a single achievement to your name? Wouldn't you rather be in control of your own life for once, Mars?"

"I won't join the First Order, Ben! I won't do it! Not after everything it's done!"

"I know it's different from what you've grown up believing, but I think that with some time you could learn to see that I'm fighting for the right side. Everything I'm doing is to benefit the people."

"How? How is killing people and destroying planets going to make the galaxy a better place?"

"By eliminating the Jedi I've already wiped out the threat to my power! All that's left is to destroy the Rebellion and restore justice to the galaxy."

"Then kill me, Ben!"

He stopped at this.

"Kill me! I'm part of the Resistance so kill me! Go ahead! Eliminate one more rebel supporter so you can sleep better at night! You had everything going for you, Ben, and you threw it all away to play some stupid game of Jedi's versus Sith's! So go ahead and kill me! If that's what you think is going to make you a better person, then do it! KILL ME! KILL ME, GODDAMMIT!"

Amara was pounding on Kylo's chest as he stood there, speechless and unmoving. He watched as tears streamed down her face like rain and let her beat him. He felt numb. Numb and bewildered.

As Amara began to tire, she leaned back against the wall and rested her hands at her sides.

"Please," she begged. "Just get it over with."

Kylo stared and frowned at her resolve. She was choosing the easy way out.

"You're weak," he told her. "If you stay with me I can teach you to be strong."

She shook her head.

"I can't do that."

"If you're not with me, you're against me."

"Right back atcha."

* * *

 **A/N: Holy smokes guys... I managed to crank this out on New Years Eve and I'm actually really proud of how it turned out!**

 **Your reviews on this chapter would mean the world to me, honestly! Let me know what you think of Amara and Kylo/Ben's chemistry as well as the flashback chemistry between Amara and Poe!**

 **ALSO...**

 **I'd like to say that any and all suggestions of what you would like to see in this story are welcome and there's no such thing as 'stupid' idea (ahem, I'm talking to you, reviewer Ashley)! I don't want this story to run dry so your guys' comments will really influence the progress and success of this story!**

 **Okay, I'm done chit chatting! I'll have the next chapter up soon (hopefully by Jan 2?)! Thanks guys!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

Amara was restless. Not only had she not been able to fall asleep after Kylo left but she couldn't stop replaying their conversation over in her head.

 _"_ _If you're not with me, you're against me."_

Of course she was against him. How could he think she would join him after everything he had done? When she had asked him to come back home at least it had been a realistic request. But to ask her to go against everything she believed in to join him in his reign of terror… it was inconceivable.

 _He's not the man I remember._

That much was clear, though she still held on to the hope that the old Ben was in there somewhere.

To pass the time, Amara counted the bolts in the walls, the threads on her shirt, the number of times she thought of home.

 _Home_.

How badly she wished to go back to the old days. Before she got involved with the Resistance. Before Ben betrayed her and his family. Before Poe started flying X-Wings and running dangerous missions. She wished to be by the river skipping stones in the afternoon sun and helping her mother garden when she was well enough to stand.

But most of all she wanted to sleep.

To fall away from the nightmare she was trapped in and simply _go to sleep_.

As she curled into the sheets of her sad excuse of a bed the door to her chambers slid open with a hiss.

"Good," Kylo said as he strode towards her. "You're awake."

"What do you want now?" She groaned.

"I want you to tell me where the map to Luke Skywalker is."

"I'm not telling you anything."

He tilted his masked head as he observed her tired expression.

"Funny, that's exactly what you _friend_ said."

"What did you do to Poe?" She asked with wide eyes.

"Oh, don't worry. He hasn't betrayed you or the Rebellion just yet. But I think with a little incentive…" He waved his hand behind him and a Stormtrooper wheeled in a very battered looking Poe restrained to one of those awful metal gurney's.

"Poe!" She cried and jumped up to run his way. Kylo held her back with a strong arm, an embrace she wished didn't feel so familiar.

"Amara?" Poe asked in a gravelly voice. He looked terrible. Dried blood stained his cheek and his eyes were puffy and dark. Amara placed a hand over her mouth in shock.

"Oh my God… What have you done to him?" She screamed and twisted in Kylo's embrace, though he only loosened his grip enough for her to wriggle a bit more freely.

"Nothing yet," he said darkly in Poe's direction. "Leave us," he nodded to the Stormtrooper who obeyed immediately. Kylo slowly stepped towards Poe who was breathing heavily with rage.

"You'll never win," the pilot spat. "We won't tell you anything."

"I have my ways of making you talk," Kylo mused. "Let's play a game and see which one of you cracks first."

Kylo reached his gloved hand up in front of Poe's face. Amara watched her friend screamed and writhed in his restraints as Kylo used the Force to torture his vulnerable form. The pain Kylo was inflicting must have been unbearable.

"Stop!" Amara cried, aware that her pleas would probably go unheeded.

"Tell me where you hid the map!" He countered, his eyes still trained on Poe.

Amara was torn. She couldn't betray the Resistance. She had always said that if she were captured and tortured she would never give up Rebel information but seeing Poe suffer was almost enough to overwhelm her rationale.

"Don't tell him, Amara!" Poe yelled, seeing the conflict in her eyes. Kylo twisted his hand sharply and Poe screamed in a whole other level of agony. Amara fell to the floor crying, her legs unable to hold her shaking form.

"Stop! Ben! Kylo! Just stop! Please!" She wasn't sure how to address him anymore.

Kylo lowered his hand and Poe panted heavily, sweat pouring down his face and fresh blood oozing from the corner his mouth. He crouched down next to Amara and removed his helmet, placing it at his side.

"Tell me where the map is, Amara, and I will stop," he said quietly looking deep into her tear filled eyes. Her chin wobbled in response.

She knew she couldn't give up the information no matter how much she wanted to. It was ripping her apart to hear Poe grunt in pain only a few feet away and Kylo knew it. That bastard knew what he was doing to her. But in that moment his eyes looked so much like _Ben's_. He was pleading with her to cooperate. A part of her wanted to believe it was so that he wouldn't have to torture Poe anymore, but past history told her he was probably enjoying the hell out of it.

"Amara," Poe whimpered as she met his eyes. "Don't do it. I'll be fine."

She seriously doubted that, but could she really sacrifice Poe for the sake of the mission?

Blinking away her tears she looked back up at Kylo. Ben. Whoever was sitting in front of her, and took a deep shaky breath.

"I…. I can't tell you," she said, her voice cracking as she realized what that might mean for Poe. "But please! Don't hurt him anymore! He doesn't… he doesn't know anything!"

Kylo sighed and furrowed his brow.

"You always were a terrible liar, Mars." He said it so quietly that she wasn't sure whether it was just a figment of her imagination. He stood up, a sense of resolve glazing over his dark eyes, and placed his helmet back on his head.

"You leave me no choice," he said and lifted a hand to Amara's face. The tears were leaking from her eyes at an incredible rate but she kept her face calm, determined to not let him break her.

But as his fingers tightened around the air she felt heat in her brain. She was positive it was melting beneath her skull but she bit her lip to keep from whimpering in pain. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of hearing her scream. But it became increasingly difficult to keep quiet when she began to feel blood vessels bursting behind her eyes and the taste of blood pool in her mouth. She ground her teeth together and trapped a whine in the back of her throat. She wouldn't break for him.

As Kylo realized her stubbornness he decided to switch tactics.

This one hurt like hell.

Amara could no longer hold back the petrifying scream lodged in her chest as Kylo twisted his hand aggressively in the air.

In that moment Amara swore she could feel her brain disconnect from her spine. The grey matter seemed to twist around itself until she was screaming at the top of her lungs, no longer able to contain her agony.

She could vaguely hear voices talking in the background as she struggled to stay conscious when suddenly the pain evaporated. The release of the Force caused her to hunch over the metal floor until she caught her breath again.

"I'll tell you everything!" She heard Poe yell. "Just let her go! Please!"

"Poe," Amara croaked. "What are you doing?"

"The droid! The map is in a BB droid on Jakku!"

Amara could feel the anger bubbling within her.

"How could you!" She yelled in his direction. Poe's eyes were filled with pain and pride. "That was our one shot! And you gave it up for _me_!"

"I had no choice," he told her. She shook her head in disgust.

Did he really expect her to be _grateful_ for betraying the Resistance? They had been working for _years_ to piece together the map to Luke Skywalker and now he had just given it away to the enemy after seeing her shed a few tears!

A Stormtrooper came back in and released Poe from his restraints only to grab him by the arm. Poe turned his head slightly and sent her an apologetic look as he was escorted from the room. Kylo followed them close behind, leaving Amara to sob on the cold metal floor of her cell.

* * *

"Did they talk?" General Hux, a thin red-headed man asked Kylo Ren as he stalked out of Amara's holding cell.

"The map is in a BB droid on Jakku," he said. "Send our best troops down to retrieve it and don't let them return until they have it in their possession."

"Did they say anything else about the Resistance?" Hux asked eagerly. "Did they reveal the location of the rebel base?"

"Not yet. That information will have to come from another session. Right now the pilot is too exhausted for further questioning."

"What about the girl?" Kylo stopped in his tracks before turning to face his comrade.

"What about her?"

"She's part of the Resistance, isn't she? Surely she's still withholding valuable information from us. I'll see to it that she doesn't rest until we get every last detail out of her."

"There will be no need for that, General," Kylo said sharply. "I'll handle her myself."

"If you say so," Hux sighed. "Though I'd like to test our new Interrogation Droid at some point. If she doesn't succumb to your methods of torture, then perhaps you'll let me have a go."

"I'll get the information without your help, Hux." Kylo's voice was like venom. The General smirked at the masked man.

"We'll see about that."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you'll have Supreme Leader Snoke to report to if you fail to prove your potential." Kylo turned on his heel, clenching his fists as he went to relieve the tension building up in his veins. Oh, how he so desperately wanted to strangle Hux and watch his pale face turn blue. To see his eyes bulge from their sockets as they slowly glazed over and then order his troops to clean up the mess.

But Kylo knew his boundaries and knew that Snoke would not forgive him for murdering one of his most loyal followers, so he walked away and prayed for the day when he could finally wring the scrawny man's neck.

Kylo attempted to clear his mind as he walked but the days' events swirled violently in his head.

He had hurt Amara.

 _It had to happen. I needed to find the map._

But at what cost?

 _She made her decision clear. She wants nothing to do with me or the Order._

With this is in mind he straightened up and felt his muscles warm with anger and resentment. These were the feelings that fueled him. These were the feelings that kept him in his state of power. Without hatred he would be nothing. He'd be useless. He'd be weak.

 _I will never succumb to the light._

And so he marched on through the _Finalizer_ ; an impressive ship resembling that of his grandfather's _Star Destroyer_.

As Kylo walked he heard a disruption around the end of the corridor. At least ten Stormtroopers were piled up at the end, some shooting down the hall, others lying dead or injured. Kylo picked up the pace.

"What is going on here?" He demanded.

"One of the rebels has broken out, Sir," A Stormtrooper told him in a robotic tone.

"Which one?"

"The Pilot, Sir. But they seem to be headed for the girl as well."

" _They?_ "

"One of our own has betrayed us, sir," The Stormtrooper said before running off to help the others as they sprinted down the hall.

Kylo was fuming. Poe and the traitor were closer to Amara's chambers than he was. If they somehow managed to break down his defenses like his troopers said they were, then they'd get to her in minutes.

Kylo's eyes grew dark as he sneered beneath his mask.

 _Not if I've got anything to say about it._

* * *

 ** _A/N: Allllllrighty!_**

 ** _YOU GUYS GET AS MANY COOKIES AS YOU WANT!_**

 ** _You know why?_**

 ** _Cause you've been following, favoriting, and reviewing like HELL and I've been giddy all day from your kind words of encouragement! That being said, I will bake everyone who reviews this chapter a cake of their very own!_**

 ** _So please ask questions... tell me what you think of Amara... Kylo... Poe... Hux..._**

 ** _Suggest things that you'd like to see in upcoming chapters because (unfortunately) I feel the Force draining from me (not much! But I really don't want to get writer's block with this story so anything you guys can suggest is much appreciated). THAT being said, I won't necessarily use the ideas you give me but who knows? They might inspire the next 50,000 words of this story!_**

 ** _I love you all._**

 ** _xoxo Half Cactus_**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for the wait! This chapter was really difficult to write for some reason... Enjoy!**

 **P.S: Fun A/N at the end! Stay tuned!**

Chapter 5

* * *

"Hello?" Amara banged weakly on the door. "Can anyone hear me? If you can, would it kill you to bring me some food? I'm starving in here."

It'd been days since Amara had eaten a proper meal and it was beginning to take its toll on her body, especially after Kylo's exhausting torture episode. He'd only left her there a few minutes ago but she was still spitting blood out onto the cold metal floor. Her eyes were heavy and there was a resonant pounding echoing through her skull which did little to take her mind off the situation at hand.

 _Dammit, Poe!_

He may as well have signed the death certificates of everyone in the Resistance! Now they were both still stuck on the _Finalizer_ with nothing left to lose but their lives which, in comparison to the value of the mission, were inessential, especially if they were going to keep cracking under pressure.

The most painful realization of all was how mercilessly Kylo had ripped into her mind. He had inflicted more pain on her than she thought anyone could live through and, though it had only lasted a few seconds, she thought her life might end then and there.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case.

Amara's stomach growled loudly as she banged on the door one last time.

 _Maybe it's for the best. Besides, if I die they can't get any more information out of me._

 _What a pathetic thought_.

As she retreated to her bed with the full intention of withering away for good, the door opened with a hiss. But it wasn't Stormtroopers bearing lunch trays who ran to her side.

"Poe?" She nearly screamed. "What are you doing here? How did you get away?"

"No time to talk, Mara," he said as he pulled her up by her arm. "We're getting out of here."

"Who's this guy?" She gestured to the Stormtrooper who was standing by calmly.

"He's helping to break us out."

"You're kidding!" She laughed in excitement before stumbling out into the corridor.

She'd never seen the inside of the Finalizer apart from the various rooms she'd been thrown into for sadistic purposes and while it was much more of the same metal walls and fluorescent lights she was astonished by its grandeur as they edged through the halls. It seemed to stretch on for miles.

"Just be cool, just be cool," the Stormtrooper said lowly as he led the two escapees at gun point. Amara and Poe both put on their best 'sad-tortured-prisoner' faces (which weren't all that hard to reciprocate) while being escorted away, though they longed to stretch their legs and make a run for it.

"So what's the plan?" Amara whispered, swallowing more blood and cringing as they passed a clump of unsuspecting Stormtroopers.

"Tie Fighters," was all Poe said but Amara struggled to hold back a squeal. She and Poe used to talk about flying Imperial ships when they were younger and had always wondered what it would be like to pilot one of them. They had spent entire seasons pouring over books that detailed the mechanics of every Imperial aircraft documented before they'd gotten swept up in the Resistance and actually began flying.

She'd only ever been trained to fly an X-Wing, and though Poe would argue differently, she was a pretty decent pilot for a newbie. Well, she was _educated_ enough about piloting to know that she should be excited for this opportunity and therefore found that she couldn't stop a grin from spreading across her face.

"Stop smiling, kid, or this heist is gonna end a lot sooner than we planned," Poe whispered with a slight smirk of his own. Amara bit the insides of her cheeks and hung her head low. She'd have to focus if they hoped for even the slightest chance of escape.

The trio made their way into the hangar and Amara gaped at the sight of it.

"Are you seeing this, Poe?"

"I'm seeing it," he said breathily, seeming to be just as mesmerized by the massive size of the landing area.

"Hurry! This way!" The Stormtrooper nudged them and they sped up a flight of stairs adjacent to the Tie Fighters.

"There's only two seats," the Stormtrooper remarked belatedly as Poe slid in behind the flight controls.

"I'm flying my own," Amara said giddily. "There's no way I'm missing the chance to fly one of these babies."

"Absolutely not!" Poe protested.

"Well Stormy here can't fly, can he?" Amara gestured broadly towards their Stormtrooper friend. He shook his head 'no'.

"Fine. Stormy, you fly with Amara," Poe said as he removed his jacket.

"What? No, I'm flying by myself," Amara argued.

"You're choosing _now_ to be stubborn?"

"We don't have time to argue about this, Dameron. Just take him," she said before shoving the Trooper in behind Poe.

"Alright, Stormy, I guess you're with me, then," Poe sighed.

"Look, can we just get out of here already?" The Trooper said as he removed his helmet, revealing him to be a very handsome dark skinned man. He couldn't be more than twenty years old. "They'll be coming for us any second!"

As if on cue, a blaster shot ricocheted off the window and rocked the ship violently.

"Shit! We've got company, guys!" Poe yelled over the headset. "Amara, are you ready?"

"I think so!" She called back as she adjusted herself in the ship behind his. "I really, really I hope so," she added quietly.

Poe revved up the engine and prepared for takeoff, his whole body sweating from the adrenaline rush as he launched the ship. But just as he felt his stomach flutter from the familiar feeling of flight, the ship lurched and snapped back roughly.

"What's going on?" Poe asked hurriedly.

"It's the refueling pipe! It wasn't properly disconnected!"

The blaster fire was coming on heavy now while Poe's ship hung low in the hangar, pulling sharply on its tether like a rogue dog on a leash.

"Can you blast it off?"

"I can try!" His co-pilot said in a panic.

"You guys," Amara piped in, a deep crease cutting through her brow. "My ship's shut down! I can't turn it on!"

"What?" Poe screamed. "Did you activate the decompressor?"

"I tried everything but none of the controls are wor-"

Poe waited as her voice cut off abruptly.

"Amara? Amara what's going on?"

More static.

"Shit!" He yelled as he spun around in his seat to see the empty Tie Fighter behind him.

"Where'd she go?" The ex-trooper asked in bewilderment.

"Hopefully to a working ship. How are we doing on that refueling pipe?"

"It's almost off, just one…more… shot!"

And with that, Poe's ship broke free of its ties and zoomed out of the hangar.

 _Amara better be close behind_ , he thought as they soared into the darkness of space.

* * *

Amara was locked in place. It wasn't fear or shock that had paralyzed her but something else entirely.

"Get out of the ship," a deep voice told her and her muscles seemed to move of their own accord. With frightened eyes she found herself climbing out of the Tie-Fighter and back onto the boarding area. Kylo Ren stood before her and, though she struggled against the invisible restraints of his Force-hold, she could barely move.

"We aren't finished yet," Kylo said, his masked voice cutting the air between them thickly.

"I thought we were," Amara snapped stiffly, now more irritated than afraid. He stepped around her carefully.

"You will stay by my side," He said.

 _Like hell I'm gonna stay-_

"I will stay by your side," she repeated robotically before scowling up at his mask. She tried to step back but found that she couldn't. She had full mobility of her limbs now but any movement away from Kylo caused her muscles to seize up. "What the hell? Get out of my head you sick, bast-"

Kylo lifted his hand to cover her mouth.

"Now is not the time to test my patience, Amara," he said darkly, his mask looming only inches from her face.

"Then don't test mine," she sneered.

Kylo turned swiftly and Amara's body felt compelled to follow close behind, though she tried desperately to break through his Force hold on her body. He paid no attention to her discomfort as he took long strides through the halls, leading her back into the heart of the ship.

Much to her relief, the Stormtroopers were no longer firing their blasters, although they ran frantically through the ship in all directions. It made her uneasy.

 _Is the ship going down? Did Poe make it out all right?_

Amara bent her head. She had hoped to be long gone by now.

All she could hope for now was that Poe had made it out of the system unscathed.

A loud boom echoed abruptly through the halls, causing Kylo to pick up his pace and shove Amara ahead of him roughly.

"Easy!" She yelled as she nearly stumbled into a wall.

Kylo continued to press forward, his hand guiding her forcefully through the halls until they'd reached the row of holding cells. Amara immediately tensed up. The thought of being tortured even more ruthlessly than before (which was sure to happen now that she'd tried to escape) caused her to cry out and cling to the protruding parts of the walls.

As she clung with all her strength she felt a familiar icy chill creep up her spine and infect her bones like a cold venom.

"No, no, no, no, no," she whined helplessly, feeling the tug on her brain as her knuckles turned white from her iron grip on the wall. A hand latched onto her shoulder and began to pry her off.

"Let me go!" She cried but to no avail. Kylo had successfully yanked her from the wall and back to his side, both hands gripping her shoulders hard as he led her to her old cell.

"Please, Ben," she whimpered, tears pooling in her eyes as she struggled uselessly in his iron grip. "Don't do this! Don't put me back in there!"

The door hissed open and he threw her inside. She crashed to her knees in the middle of the room and winced as new bruises began to form.

 _Maybe he will kill me, after all._

"I'm not going to kill you," Kylo said from above her shuddering body. "But I _will_ force your cooperation if I have to." He took an intimidating step and she scrambled back frantically.

"Y-you can read my mind?" She spluttered.

"I can do anything, Amara," he said. "You'd do well to remember that." He crouched down in front of her. "Tell me where the rebel base is."

She shook her head, tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Don't make this more difficult than it has to be, Amara." His voice had grown darker. Louder.

"I'm not telling you _shit_ , Ben," she said. "Not until you admit that what you're doing is wrong."

"Your emotions are clouding your judgement."

"And yours aren't?" She asked, though her voice shook. "You don't want to hurt me anymore, Ben. I-I know you don't. You… you don't have it in you."

It was a dare she'd never meant to issue.

Kylo tilted his head back and she watched as the muscles in his arms grew tense.

Her stomach flipped as she realized her mistake and her eyes grew wide in fright.

"Ben, I-I didn't… You wouldn't," she stumbled over her words as she edged her back along the wall. "I _know_ you won't."

Kylo was motionless as she retreated from him. The dark eyes of his mask pinned her to the corner of the room and she stopped moving, her own eyes locked on his.

A long beat of silence passed between them where only Amara's labored breaths could be heard. She blinked now that her tears had subsided but her head suddenly felt heavy and began to loll to one side. Her quick movements seemed to have sucked all the remaining energy from her body and she slumped slightly. She felt the world turn on its axis as she struggled to keep her eyes open and the side of her face bumped against the wall in her stupor.

"What's… happening?" she asked lamely. She was losing consciousness fast. Darkness was overwhelming her vision and her eyes were crossed in exhaustion.

 _No… I'm not done… I… I have so much to… to say…_

"Hel…. help me," she breathed out tiredly.

Ben's unmasked face was the last thing she saw before she fell limply to the ground.

* * *

 **A/N:** **YOU GUYS ROCK MY SOCKS!**

 **Thank you all so much for favoriting, following, and REVIEWING! Holy heck! There are so many of you guys that it's blowing my mind! Yay for 32 reviews and a huge hug to everyone who wrote to me with comments/suggestions/words of encouragement!**

 **I'd like to set a designated day for when I upload and so fat Thursday evenings are looking best. However, I might slack a bit (on accident!) because I have finals coming up in the next few weeks and also I'm trying to write a novel (not a fanfiction - the horror!) so my updating might be sporadic. I'm really hoping to keep this updated once or twice a week though, and your guys' comments honestly speed up the process.**

 **Thanks again! Please let me know what you guys think of this chapter and the story so far! This one was definitely difficult for me and I have a feeling the next will be too... Agh! We'll see!**

 **ALSO! CALLING ALL BATTLERONT PLAYERS! I've been playing on my pc and it's so much fun! I don't know how adding friends works, but IF YOU DO YOU SHOULD ADD ME: I'm HalfCactus. Add me. Let's play. (I suck, but it could be fun?)**

 **xoxo Half Cactus**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: You guys seriously blow my mind! We've hit 200 followers on this story with over 100 favorites and A TON of reviews for every chapter! Your participation and admiration for this story really means a lot to me. Some fun bits and bobs will be posted at the end of this chapter, so read and enjoy!**

Chapter 6

* * *

 _Amara folded her sweater tight around her as she stepped into the living room._

 _"_ _How is she?" Ben asked, rising from the couch to meet her._

 _"_ _She hasn't improved," Amara said, sniffling a bit. "The healers are still in there with her but... but I don't think…" She couldn't finish the thought. She turned from Ben quickly and brought her hand up to cover her face._

 _"_ _Hey," Ben said, pulling her back around to face him. "Hey, It's going to be okay. Shhh… Come here." His large hand cupped the back of her head and he pulled her in close. She was still balled up; her hands nestled beneath her chin as she let out a gut-wrenching sob._

 _"_ _It's n-not f-fair," she cried, her words muffled in the soft fabric of his shirt. "I c-can't lose her. Not yet."_

 _"_ _I know, Mars. I'm so sorry." Ben rested his chin on her hair as she curled into his embrace._

 _"_ _What am I going to do, Ben? How am I supposed to live without my mom? She's all I have left."_

 _"_ _That's not true," Ben murmured. Amara said nothing but burrowed a bit further into his chest, tears seeping through to his skin. He gripped her tighter. "I'm so sorry, Mars. I wish there was some way I could make this better."_

 _The bedroom door behind them opened abruptly and two healers exited, stopping upon seeing Amara's tear stained face._

 _"_ _She doesn't have much longer," one of the healers started quietly. "We're so sorry."_

 _Amara squeezed her eyes shut tight and tried to slow her breathing._

 _"_ _How, uh… How much longer does she have?"_

 _"_ _It's hard to say. She could live another month. Maybe only until tomorrow."_

 _"_ _Is there anything you can give her for the pain?" Ben asked but the older nurse shook her head._

 _"_ _None of the medicine we have seems to have any effect on her. I'm so sorry about this."_

 _"_ _Thank you," Amara mumbled, her eyes glazed and her mind numb. She broke away from Ben and entered her mother's room. Briefly she heard Ben excuse the healers before closing the door behind them. He carefully propped himself against the dresser and watched as Amara stood unmoving beside her ailing mother._

 _"_ _Mars," he whispered, worried by the girl's silence._

 _After a long moment of stillness, Amara turned and approached the dresser. Ben jumped out of the way as she shuffled around in the drawers, alarmed by her rapid movements. Amara released a shaky sigh when she finally retrieved a pair of glossy scissors from the depths of the drawer._

 _"_ _Mars, what are you doing?" Ben asked unsteadily._

 _She continued to ignore him and moved back towards her vegetable of a mother._

 _Ben watched as Amara's face grew hard. He knew that face. He'd seen her make that expression every time he challenged her to a lightsaber duel or, when they were kids, 'Spot the Wookie'. Her mouth shrank away and her eyes grew dark and hooded. It was the face of determination._

 _Ben wondered what it was she planned to do next. Amara's mind had always been a mystery to him. But when she unfolded the scissors and held the blade up to her mother's throat, Ben nearly choked on his surprise._

 _"_ _Amara!" He yelled, leaping forward to yank her away from the bed._

 _"_ _Let me do this, Ben!" She screamed, her legs kicking in the air as her mask of resolve fell with fresh tears. "I won't let her suffer anymore! I can't!"_

 _"_ _Please, Mars! Calm down! Let's talk about this!"_

 _"_ _I can't!" She sobbed. "I have to end her pain! She deserves that!"_

 _Ben ripped the scissors from her hands and threw them out of reach just as her legs gave out in despair. He lowered her to the ground gently and cradled her in his arms as she fell apart._

 _"_ _Shhh, Mars. You need to calm down."_

 _"_ _She's in s-so much pain, Ben," Amara whimpered. "I n-need to free her. I owe her that much."_

 _"_ _I know, Mars. I know," he shushed her before looking into her pain filled eyes. "But you can't kill your mother."_

 _"_ _I have to, Ben."_

 _"_ _No," he said firmly. "I won't let you."_

 _"_ _She's dying, Ben," she whispered. "I'm going to lose her either way."_

 _He took a deep breath as he saw no sign of her wavering. He knew that no matter what he said she would end doing the opposite once he left. She had the willpower to follow through. His stomach twisted at the thought of her creeping through the house after dark, a kitchen knife in hand as she said one last goodbye to her mother before ending it for good._

 _He shuddered._

 _"_ _You'll never forgive yourself."_

 _"_ _Yes I will."_

 _"_ _If you murder her it will stay with you_ _forever_ _, Amara. I won't let you have that on your conscience."_

 _"_ _I can't let her suffer anymore, Ben."_

 _He sighed deeply and closed his eyes._

 _"_ _Then let me do it."_

 _Time slowed to a stop as Amara blinked up at Ben. Her tears stopped mid-fall. The wind outside ceased to blow. Even Ben's lungs seemed to freeze in his chest._

 _"_ _What?" Amara whispered in disbelief. She wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly._

 _"_ _I can make it painless," Ben told her softly. "I can slow her heart and she can drift away."_

 _"_ _How? How can you do that?"_

 _Ben grasped her hands in his._

 _"_ _With the Force," he said. Amara felt a pulse of energy jolt up her arm and warm her chest. Immediately she felt more awake._

 _"_ _Ben, you can't do that."_

 _"_ _Yes I can, and I will. It'll be better this way, Mars." He cupped her cheek in his hand. "Trust me. I can help you. Let me help you."_

 _Amara's eyes flickered to his. He was sincere in his offer. She weighed her options, knowing full well that Ben's proposition was better than any alternative, and nodded her head in approval._

 _"_ _But Ben," Amara said as he rose to his feet. "What about_ _your_ _conscience?"_

 _"_ _I'll be fine, Mars. It's you I'm worried about." He leaned down and brushed his lips along her cheekbone. "Come on."_

 _He pulled her up gingerly from the floor and allowed her to take the first step towards her mother. When she looked back at him he nodded towards the withering woman under the blankets._

 _As Ben watched her say her final goodbyes to the only mother she'd ever have, he felt his confidence waver. Could he really kill Amara's mother?_

 _Yes, he could._

 _It would be easy._

 _One quick pulse of energy and it would be done._

 _He knew he could do it._

 _And so, with a reassuring squeeze from Amara's hand, he did._

 _Amara's eyes were dry by the time her mother's spirit left the house._

* * *

Amara couldn't decide which hurt worse: her head or her throat.

As she started to reach up to investigate the cause of her discomfort she groaned, realizing she had once again been restrained to the metal interrogation gurney.

"You've gotta be _fucking_ kidding me," she muttered, her eyes squinting against the harsh lights above her. Her throat felt itchy and raw, almost like someone had taken metal claws and scratched their way down her esophagus.

"She's awake, General," a voice behind her said. She suspected a Stormtrooper by the way his voice was muffled.

"Hey!" She called behind her hoarsely. "What's going on? Who did you just call?"

They didn't respond but that much she'd expected. Stormtroopers were loyal dogs and she knew she couldn't hope for another one to betray the First Order like her break-out friend Stormy had. She wondered briefly how he was adjusting to life in the Resistance with Poe. With any luck he'd come up with another plan to help break her out… for _real_ this time. Though she knew that with _her_ luck there was no way that would happen.

The doors slid open behind her and she craned her neck to see who entered.

"It's about time," a man said as he rounded the front of the gurney.

Amara had never seen this man before but knew he held position of power by the way he carried himself. His hands were clasped behind his back and he smirked as Amara glowered in his direction, not even bothering to rattle the restraints like before.

Any effort to escape would be futile at this point.

The man had his red hair slicked back to reveal bleach white skin and piercing blue eyes, contrasting his dark tailored uniform. Amara thought he looked like a very well dressed weasel.

"What can I do for you?" Amara drawled, 1000% done with being held hostage by these people.

"We were worried you'd given up," the man said, stopping directly in front of her.

"What are you talking about?" Amara croaked, her throat still mysteriously hoarse.

"Your body began to shut down from the lack of food you were consuming. We had to fit you with a feeding tube to keep you from sinking into a coma."

"You what?" She said angrily.

"Well we couldn't let our only source of Resistance information die on us, now could we?"

"How very _thoughtful_ of you," she sneered. "Especially considering it was you people who starved me in the first place."

"Ren never mentioned you had such a sharp tongue," The man mused.

"Funny. He never mentioned he had such an incompetent crew."

"I'd watch your mouth, _girl_ ," he said, stepping uncomfortably close.

"What are you going to do? Kill me? I'm too valuable to the First Order, and you know it, so I'd rethink your intimidation tactics if I were you."

"Listen here, you rebel scum!" He yelled, gripping her neck in his cold hands. Amara gagged as he crushed her windpipe, pain shooting through her when the coarse flesh of her throat rubbed together. "I will not tolerate your juvenile quips! _I_ am the one in control here and I _will_ make sure you suffer for every dissatisfactory remark you make! Is that clear?"

Amara nodded slightly as tears smarted in her eyes. The pain in her throat was unbearable but the man seemed to take her crying as a sign of her surrender.

"Glad we've gotten that sorted out," he said, releasing her throat before circling the gurney slowly.

"Who are you?" Amara rasped after a rather long coughing fit. "What do you want?"

"I'm General Hux of the First Order," he said from somewhere behind her. "And I'm here to get the answers Ren somehow couldn't get out of you."

"Do you honestly think that if I could resist Kylo Ren's torture that I'll break under yours?"

She decided to leave out the detail that her prior torture session had lasted all but two minutes since Poe _fricken_ Dameron had melted the second Kylo hurt her. A minor and unnecessary detail to add, she was sure.

"That's precisely what I'm curious about," Hux said. "I don't believe Ren was taking full advantage of your weakness. I believe he's taken more of a… _personal_ interest in you instead."

"Jealous?" Amara said only to earn a searing slap across the face.

"Hardly," Hux said, smirking a bit as he watched her head snap sharply to the side from the force of his blow. "But I do believe he's sacrificing the integrity of this mission for the sake of keeping your pretty face around."

Hux reached up and roughly took her chin in his hand, forcing her to face him once more. Amara grimaced at their new proximity.

"Maybe Kylo got the memo that I will never, _ever_ , do the First Order's bidding no matter how much fire you put me under."

"You'd be dead if that was the case," Hux said simply, seeing straight through her bluff.

"So what's the plan, then?" She sighed as he released her. "Torture me until I relinquish all my secrets?"

"Precisely," Hux smiled cruelly, gesturing for a Stormtrooper to escort something towards them. Amara tilted her head, suddenly nervous at the prospect of being tortured hours on end by someone she had no leverage over. At least with Kylo she could remind him of his humanity and hope for a chance of getting off easy. But with Hux… she guessed he wouldn't be so kind to her.

"What is that?" She asked when a droid floated into sight.

"Oh, just a little incentive to get you talking." Hux said, noting how Amara swallowed deeply at the sight of the several needles, blades, and shock points protruding from the sides of the contraption. "I've been dying to try out our new Interrogation droid and you happen to fit the qualifications for a test subject."

Her mask of bravery cracked as she imagined all of the ways he planned to make her suffer.

 _Maybe I'm not strong enough._

"Oh, Amara, you're sweating," Hux taunted, interrupting her thoughts. "Perhaps this will be a quicker interrogation than I thought."

"Go to hell," she said, though it came out as more of a breathy whisper than a menacing threat.

"After you, darling."

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter feels short to me... Do you guys want longer chapters? They would take more time to post so you'd have to wait longer between updates but you guys should let me know.**

 **Also, you're probably thinking, "Geez-Louise, HalfCactus! Give Amara a break!". I have been torturing her quite a bit lately but I think it's a realistic representation of what would happen in the event of a First Order hostage situation. I don't think she'd recieve anything less than what I've dealt out to her so far but I do promise that she won't be locked up in the torture chambers forever. What kind of story would that be?**

 **And now, for those of you asking for a Kylo Ren/Ben and Amara ship name... I present to you... AMEN.**

 **Yes? I think yes.**

 **Please review, you guys! Your comments/suggestions totally make my day and make this whole writing process worth the effort!**

 **I have some fun responses for the reviewers of last chapter:**

 **theb4t: Thank you! I have really been trying to stay true to Ben's character as I write but with only one movie to go on I am nervous about how he's turning out. But it means a lot to me that you think his behavior is realistic, even if it means that he has to be cruel to Amara. I really don't want this story to be one mega fluff cloud of obnoxious romance because I know there are other stories like that out there so I'm trying my best to keep things real. You're the coolest.**

 **draccmalfoy: I know that there's a lot of torture but I think it's necessary for the story to keep it's realism. It is a shame to have to write Amara suffer but what's a story without a struggle? Glad you liked it!**

 **EmeraldGreen4Life:** **Honestly I just started writing this story and the followers/fav's/reviews just came rolling in! The support for this project has been unreal but I think that jumping in to write this story pretty soon after TFA came out really helped draw people in. The reason I started to write this story in the first place was because there were only so many OC/Kylo stories online and I couldn't get enough of them so I decided to write my own version. Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'll check out your story soon!**

 **Daughter of Ironman06:** **I'm trying to stay along the plot of the movie while adding a lot of my own shpeals. I hope her almost-escape was a fun time to read though. Thanks for reading!**

 **Candyfairey:** **I hope you enjoyed this flashback! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

 **NicoleR85: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story!**

 **don'tstopbelieving123:** **Thanks for reading! Glad the intensity came off in the last chapter!**

Your guys' reviews mean so much to me! Keep 'em coming! hehe


	7. BIG NEWS?

Okay you guys.. this is tough. I know I haven't updates this story in fricken FOREVER and there's really no excuse for that except to say that it's been a crazy few months. But that doesn't mean I'm done with this story. I started writing this immediately after seeing TFA for the first time in January and I never really gave myself the time to develop the characters and mold them into a solid plot line. That being said, I honestly believe that I can massively improve this story with a rewrite while still keeping in most of the basic elements and details.

I plan to rework this story ASAP and would be crazy grateful if you guys hung around for the new and improved version.

I have two options here. I can either create a new story still titled "Where The Dark Is" and post my updated version there OR I can take down these chapters and start from scratch (which is what I would prefer to do). I don't want to lose you guys since all of you have been so supportive of this story pre and post hiatus. I'd appreciate feedback on this turn of events.

Let me know what you think? Do you have faith that I can turn this story around? Make it spectacular?

I'm sending out a cosmic force vibe to all of you lovelies out there who have stuck by me over the past few months. You guys are rad.

Drop me a note with your opinions/suggestions!


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